Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize