ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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