If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
