Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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