I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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