I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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