You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
His hands were made for my vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
