So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
