We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
