oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
