What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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