My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
