I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
