She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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