i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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