His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
