U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
