when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
