I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize