Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize