is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize