Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
