hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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