Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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