dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize