Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
