Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
