uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
