I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
