I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
