and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
