the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
