her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
