I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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