Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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