so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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