i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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