Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize