i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
