it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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