I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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