i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
