I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
