And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
