In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
