Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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