I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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