How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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