he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
