did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
