I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
