their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
