ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
