When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
