"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
