I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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