Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
