I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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