i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
