Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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