Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

You're completely useless in the revolution.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.

Fav 20 773 3358
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

fair is fair

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?

Fav 23 1761 7355
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(620): View more from Kansas

He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.

Fav 20 4381 1149
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(336): View more from North Carolina

But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.

Fav 10 2308 943
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(519): View more from Ontario

WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!

Fav 1 579 223
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(701): View more from North Dakota

But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs

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