Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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