At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
