Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Randomize
