K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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