dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
