Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
