dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
